The question jolts him out of the groove he'd only just started to find, his eyes widening slightly as he stares back at the other than. Had he done something wrong? Had he upset him somehow?
"...Of course I do. Why?" It's the truth - despite the invasive thoughts he has he doesn't doubt Hythlodaeus cares for him. "Is something the matter?"
He pauses. He still doesn't think he should tell Hermes about the fact that he's hearing his thoughts, so he instead sighs and shakes his head.
"No, I simply... I thought for a moment how terrible it could feel for you. I come over, I lie with you, I leave again." He cups Hermes' cheek, thumb tracing over his cheekbone.
"But you are special to me. I do not want you to doubt it."
Those aren't the words he's expecting and they have his chest constricting. It...admittedly was terrible. At times it did make him feel awful, that Hythlodaeus always seemed to leave. Over and over again. The first few times had been almost unbearable but now? He's used to it. He's learned to distract himself.
"I do not doubt it..." He leans into the palm that cups his face, averting his gaze. "Sometimes though...it can be lonely."
He nods, feeling unhappy for his friend. He hates that he has to leave, but what other option is there? He won't leave Emet-Selch for anyone.
"What would you have me do instead?" He's stayed the night on occasion, but eventually he will always have to leave. A fact that pains him, but he cannot be in two places at once.
"Nothing." He shakes his head softly, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "The problem lies with me alone, not you. I do not wish for you to feel guilty."
Which is true - he doesn't want him to feel bad. He knows where Hythlodaeus' loyalty lies and it's something he accepts in full.
He pauses, looking down for a moment before he clasps his hands together. From between his hands a soft glow emanates, and when he opens his palms again there's a delicate butterfly pin in vivid purple, which flutters its wings like a real butterfly. He pins it to the front of Hermes' shirt, over his heart, and a slight warmth exudes from it.
Smiling at Hermes, he takes one of his hands in his own.
"I cannot be with you always, but this part of me can. Pray do not feel lonely, for I am always near, my friend."
The sight of the butterfly pin has his eyes growing wide, a deep blush blooming beneath his tan cheeks. It's such a delicate, thoughtful gift. A memento he can't help but feel his heart swell at the sight of. The heat of it doesn't go unnoticed either, his gaze dropping to their hands when one of his is taken.
"I...yes of course. I will cherish this gift Hythlodaeus."
Leaning in to kiss his friend softly, he squeezes his hand before leaning back.
"Full glad am I that you like it. I imbued it with my own aether as best as I could." Something he's sure Emet-Selch won't like, but... he's allowed to do such a thing for a dear friend, surely? Even if Emet-Selch would call it "stringing him along," he isn't. Not purposefully.
"And I still have that feather you gave me... we are more connected than ever, hm?"
This kiss soothes and placates him as he nods back at Hythlodaeus, feeling very warm indeed. He shouldn't doubt him - not when he'd just gifted him with a tiny piece of him.
"We are, yes...and I am happy that we are. I will try to not forget and become lost in my thoughts."
"It makes me happy too." He leans in, but it's to rest his weight against Hermes while laying his head on his shoulder, apparently just content enough to bask in the contact for now.
Hermes' thoughts have settled. Good... he's glad to think that he feels better. All he can do is be genuine with him, and he closes his eyes and sighs, enjoying the closeness.
As Hythlodaeus leans against him, Hermes lets his fingers find purchase in his friend's hair, fiddling with the end of his messy braid. The strands are as soft as ever. Hopefully the touch is as nice as it is for him and equally as comforting.
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"...Of course I do. Why?" It's the truth - despite the invasive thoughts he has he doesn't doubt Hythlodaeus cares for him. "Is something the matter?"
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"No, I simply... I thought for a moment how terrible it could feel for you. I come over, I lie with you, I leave again." He cups Hermes' cheek, thumb tracing over his cheekbone.
"But you are special to me. I do not want you to doubt it."
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"I do not doubt it..." He leans into the palm that cups his face, averting his gaze. "Sometimes though...it can be lonely."
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"What would you have me do instead?" He's stayed the night on occasion, but eventually he will always have to leave. A fact that pains him, but he cannot be in two places at once.
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Which is true - he doesn't want him to feel bad. He knows where Hythlodaeus' loyalty lies and it's something he accepts in full.
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Smiling at Hermes, he takes one of his hands in his own.
"I cannot be with you always, but this part of me can. Pray do not feel lonely, for I am always near, my friend."
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"I...yes of course. I will cherish this gift Hythlodaeus."
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"Full glad am I that you like it. I imbued it with my own aether as best as I could." Something he's sure Emet-Selch won't like, but... he's allowed to do such a thing for a dear friend, surely? Even if Emet-Selch would call it "stringing him along," he isn't. Not purposefully.
"And I still have that feather you gave me... we are more connected than ever, hm?"
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"We are, yes...and I am happy that we are. I will try to not forget and become lost in my thoughts."
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Hermes' thoughts have settled. Good... he's glad to think that he feels better. All he can do is be genuine with him, and he closes his eyes and sighs, enjoying the closeness.
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"I am glad to hear it.