Unfortunately he can't seem to think of much that would bring him peace of mind at all. Even if Meteion were here with him...how terrible of a fate would that be for her? No, she could never be here with him. It would be unconscionable.
"Perhaps I can bring you some peace of mind, one less thing to worry about in regards to me?" He smiles weakly back at Hythlodaeus, forcing himself to get a hold on his emotions. "I signed a contract recently."
"His name is G'raha Tia. He's a quite interesting man...short and with feline features but I find them rather endearing." A change of topic is clearly what Hermes needed. He seems to relax, setting the brooch aside for now. I still don't exactly understand where he is from - a world with aether and similar to ours...and in some way I feel we are connected?"
There's a small shrug but he seems calmer now.
"He is curious much like myself and I have had nothing but nice conversations with him...so when I was feeling particularly bold I asked him to contract."
Hermes' smile falters, turning into something far more somber.
"There is much I do not understand about the future...all I know is that we are all to meet a miserable fate." Himself included. "I do not know how a person like G'raha fits into the picture entirely but I understand that Azem's shard was a friend of his and wronged Elidibus..."
There's a sigh as his fingers fiddle with the hem of his shirt. "He has been nothing but pleasant to me though...and I need a contract."
Hythlodaeus' smile doesn't falter in spite of Hermes' words.
"Ah, he will forgive you. I am sure he would be far more upset were you to actually land in jail for not finding a contract."
He pats Hermes on the back, before chuckling. "Does this mean I must be silent when we are together now? I never was very good at that. Or must I simply choose moments when G'raha is out?"
Ah. That was...something Hermes hadn't thought of. The implication the two of them would be overheard has his cheeks flaring red, his gaze thrown to the side. For the moment he can't meet Hythloadeus' gaze.
"I-I suppose I never thought of the implications of living with another person. It would be rude to make too much noise."
Is Hermes choking on his words? Sure is.
"I could create a barrier that blocks sound around my room. You could be as loud as you like in that case..." It's a solution but for some reason he feels like Hythlodaeus will be disappointed.
Disappointed he is, sighing heavily. "I suppose..." Come on Hermes, don't ruin his fun...
"In any case, I am glad you have a Submissive now. I had begun to worry that you weren't going to look for one."
He takes Hermes by the chin and guides his face towards his own, so that he can watch him flush. He always finds he enjoys when Hermes gets bashful. "You are terribly attractive when you blush, my friend."
Yes, he's trying to make him do it more. It's a welcome distraction from their other woes.
He can recognize that disappointment clearly in Hythlodaeus' voice as he sighs. It makes him feel guilty to a degree, that he's taking something away from Hytholdaeus that the other man enjoys. Still, it wouldn't be right for them to disturb G'raha. This was as much his place now as it was Hermes', or so the man felt.
"The unforeseen confidence boost worked in my favour...full glad that I am, and was, that G'raha agreed." Which is why he doesn't want to do anything that may make the mi'qote see him in an unfavorable light. When Hythlodaeus takes hold of his chin he's forced to look his way, only to feel his cheeks grow even warmer.
Of course Hermes can be plenty of fun without the boost. But he was real fun with it.
"Heheh... perhaps it is, friend. Perhaps I enjoy watching you turn scarlet." He leans in for a kiss, brief but affectionate. When he pulls back he's smiling like usual, the gesture crinkling the corners of his eyes.
"As tempting as you are when pink in the face, however, I will refrain. I am quite sure you are in no mood for the moment." And before anything else, he is Hermes' friend. Hermes isn't just someone to sleep with, he's someone special to Hythlodaeus. He will think of his feelings first.
The kiss may be brief but it possesses a sweetness that would make Hermes go weak in the knees if he weren't seated. Hythlodaeus is so charming it's hard to feel too down around him, especially when he's being so kind and considerate. Gently he rests his forehead against the other man's letting out a soft exhale.
He hadn't been in the mood, no, but he's not averse to something gentle like this. Close contact with his friend is a comfort and the more he can push the thought of Meteion to the back of his mind the better.
"Perhaps we can enjoy one another's company like this for now?"
Gently, he cups Hermes' cheek and hums in affirmation.
"Of course." He offers up another kiss that lingers this time, but true to his word when he breaks it he simply sits and enjoys the contact. "I will stay with you for as long as you need."
With his fingers still caressing Hermes' cheek, he closes his eyes and sighs contentedly. He hasn't been in the best of moods himself thanks to his own reminder, so something sweet like this helps.
It hasn't crossed Hermes' mind that others may have received reminders from home, but if he knew that Hythlodaeus had been suffering his own mental anguish...he probably would've pushed his own sorrows away much quicker. It's nice to just sit like this, to be in another's company and the company of someone he trusts no less.
"Thank you, truly...you have showed me nothing but kindness Hythlodaeus. It means more to me than I can put into words."
His voice is quiet at the admission, as he lets Hythlodaeus' words sink in slowly. When was the last time someone had told him he was important, let alone dear to them? Was it his parents? No, it was the man who currently held the seat of Fandaniel, his mentor whom he would supposedly surpass...that was the last time anyone remotely had held him in such regard.
"I know you always seem to comfort me...but you do know you can come to me with concerns as well, yes?"
"Is that an invitation to regale you with my burdens here and now?" He laughs a little, though there's a tense edge to it- as if there's something specifically in mind as he says it.
"Oh, but I know. You would never let me suffer alone." But this is comforting for him, too. Just sitting together and enjoying one another's company. Maybe he doesn't have to talk about it... though if Hermes presses, he will.
"If you wished to, be they worries large or small I would lend an ear."
He means that too. That said, he wouldn't poke or pry for Hythlodaeus to spill his woes if he didn't want to share them. There's a sharpness to his laugh that Hermes picks up on, but he won't pursue it. He doesn't need to pick at wounds that his friend may be hiding.
He smiles, leaning against Hermes more- though after a moment he does speak, as though he needed a moment to think about it.
"Let us simply say... you were not the only one who received a reminder from home." He pulls the small chunk of rock from his cardigan pocket, rubbing his thumb over it. "This is what has been plaguing me for a few days now."
It might not mean much to Hermes, who has no idea what a moon rock looks like. And really, it is unremarkable. But to Hythlodaeus it represents a 12000 year long prison. He wishes it would go away, but every time he tries to get rid of it, it just shows up again.
Hythlodaeus had told him briefly of the suffering he had endured the one evening he'd awoken them both with nightmares, but never would Hermes have thought there would've been a reminder from those days for his friend. He extends out a hand to request to hold it.
He'd never told him about his imprisonment on the moon, only what the Final Days held for them. But now he hands the rock over, sighing.
"You know of how the star was sundered, yes? Hydaelyn struck Zodiark with such force that the fabric of reality split into fourteen shards... well, afterwards, Hydaelyn created a moon and imprisoned Zodiark there. And all the souls who were sacrificed to him... we were trapped there, too."
He eyes the rock as if it has personally offended him just by being in the same room as him.
Hermes sits and listens quietly, turning the rock over in his hands, a shiver running down his spine as he learns of its origin. So it was the reminder of a prison then...where Hythlodaeus had found himself trapped for eons. How miserable. How terrifying.
How lonely.
Here he was upset, feeling alone, and Hythlodaeus was being haunted by such a memory. What a terrible friend he was...
"...I do not know what to say. I am horrified." He covers the rock with his other hand, as if to hide it from view from the both of them. "I knew you endured hardship during the Final Days but I did not know you were made to suffer so."
"If it is any consolation, I spent those years in a dreamlike state... I hardly recall the time that went by, though I admit I do dream of it often. Looking up at what used to be Etheirys from a barren land, alone."
He sighs, turning his head to nuzzle into Hermes more as if to remind himself that he is no longer alone. Of course, if he knew what Hermes was thinking about himself he'd scold him; which is hypocritical of him, given how he reacted to Emet-Selch's story.
"I suppose I was simply there long enough that it imprinted upon my mind. Had I remained in the Underworld, I am quite sure I would never have dreamt of it. Alas, I am alive once more, and living beings must dream."
Setting the rock aside he turns himself on the sofa to embrace Hythlodaeus again, a hand reaching up to stroke the back of his head in a bid to soothe. So what if he didn't recall much? That he was trapped in a dreamlike state? That is just as terrifying as if he were fully aware, as far as Hermes is concerned.
"Full glad I am that you are alive." Ah, he's getting choked up again... "Neither you nor Emet-Selch deserved any of what you both endured. If only I could do something to ease your sorrows..."
Rubbing his eyes with the back of a hand he pulls back slightly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"You are, of course." He knows the other man's words are true and that leaves his heart swelling in his chest. "And if I can be of help...then it relieves me to hear so."
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"Perhaps I can bring you some peace of mind, one less thing to worry about in regards to me?" He smiles weakly back at Hythlodaeus, forcing himself to get a hold on his emotions. "I signed a contract recently."
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"Who are they?" Someone nice, he hopes. Someone who won't take advantage of Hermes. If they did, he might have to have words with them...
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There's a small shrug but he seems calmer now.
"He is curious much like myself and I have had nothing but nice conversations with him...so when I was feeling particularly bold I asked him to contract."
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Shrugging, he smiles. "I had recommended you to him, and I am glad that you are contracted." It means he won't have to introduce them, after all.
"Does Emet-Selch know?" He can't imagine Emet-Selch will be too pleased... G'raha was on the opposite side of the Ascians, after all.
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Hermes' smile falters, turning into something far more somber.
"There is much I do not understand about the future...all I know is that we are all to meet a miserable fate." Himself included. "I do not know how a person like G'raha fits into the picture entirely but I understand that Azem's shard was a friend of his and wronged Elidibus..."
There's a sigh as his fingers fiddle with the hem of his shirt. "He has been nothing but pleasant to me though...and I need a contract."
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"Ah, he will forgive you. I am sure he would be far more upset were you to actually land in jail for not finding a contract."
He pats Hermes on the back, before chuckling. "Does this mean I must be silent when we are together now? I never was very good at that. Or must I simply choose moments when G'raha is out?"
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"I-I suppose I never thought of the implications of living with another person. It would be rude to make too much noise."
Is Hermes choking on his words? Sure is.
"I could create a barrier that blocks sound around my room. You could be as loud as you like in that case..." It's a solution but for some reason he feels like Hythlodaeus will be disappointed.
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"In any case, I am glad you have a Submissive now. I had begun to worry that you weren't going to look for one."
He takes Hermes by the chin and guides his face towards his own, so that he can watch him flush. He always finds he enjoys when Hermes gets bashful. "You are terribly attractive when you blush, my friend."
Yes, he's trying to make him do it more. It's a welcome distraction from their other woes.
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"The unforeseen confidence boost worked in my favour...full glad that I am, and was, that G'raha agreed." Which is why he doesn't want to do anything that may make the mi'qote see him in an unfavorable light. When Hythlodaeus takes hold of his chin he's forced to look his way, only to feel his cheeks grow even warmer.
"Am I? Is that why you tease me so?"
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Of course Hermes can be plenty of fun without the boost. But he was real fun with it.
"Heheh... perhaps it is, friend. Perhaps I enjoy watching you turn scarlet." He leans in for a kiss, brief but affectionate. When he pulls back he's smiling like usual, the gesture crinkling the corners of his eyes.
"As tempting as you are when pink in the face, however, I will refrain. I am quite sure you are in no mood for the moment." And before anything else, he is Hermes' friend. Hermes isn't just someone to sleep with, he's someone special to Hythlodaeus. He will think of his feelings first.
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He hadn't been in the mood, no, but he's not averse to something gentle like this. Close contact with his friend is a comfort and the more he can push the thought of Meteion to the back of his mind the better.
"Perhaps we can enjoy one another's company like this for now?"
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"Of course." He offers up another kiss that lingers this time, but true to his word when he breaks it he simply sits and enjoys the contact. "I will stay with you for as long as you need."
With his fingers still caressing Hermes' cheek, he closes his eyes and sighs contentedly. He hasn't been in the best of moods himself thanks to his own reminder, so something sweet like this helps.
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"Thank you, truly...you have showed me nothing but kindness Hythlodaeus. It means more to me than I can put into words."
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He means every word of it, of course. He's a menace who delights in seeing Hermes flushed and awkward, but never sad.
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His voice is quiet at the admission, as he lets Hythlodaeus' words sink in slowly. When was the last time someone had told him he was important, let alone dear to them? Was it his parents? No, it was the man who currently held the seat of Fandaniel, his mentor whom he would supposedly surpass...that was the last time anyone remotely had held him in such regard.
"I know you always seem to comfort me...but you do know you can come to me with concerns as well, yes?"
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"Oh, but I know. You would never let me suffer alone." But this is comforting for him, too. Just sitting together and enjoying one another's company. Maybe he doesn't have to talk about it... though if Hermes presses, he will.
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He means that too. That said, he wouldn't poke or pry for Hythlodaeus to spill his woes if he didn't want to share them. There's a sharpness to his laugh that Hermes picks up on, but he won't pursue it. He doesn't need to pick at wounds that his friend may be hiding.
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"Let us simply say... you were not the only one who received a reminder from home." He pulls the small chunk of rock from his cardigan pocket, rubbing his thumb over it. "This is what has been plaguing me for a few days now."
It might not mean much to Hermes, who has no idea what a moon rock looks like. And really, it is unremarkable. But to Hythlodaeus it represents a 12000 year long prison. He wishes it would go away, but every time he tries to get rid of it, it just shows up again.
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Hythlodaeus had told him briefly of the suffering he had endured the one evening he'd awoken them both with nightmares, but never would Hermes have thought there would've been a reminder from those days for his friend. He extends out a hand to request to hold it.
"May I?"
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"You know of how the star was sundered, yes? Hydaelyn struck Zodiark with such force that the fabric of reality split into fourteen shards... well, afterwards, Hydaelyn created a moon and imprisoned Zodiark there. And all the souls who were sacrificed to him... we were trapped there, too."
He eyes the rock as if it has personally offended him just by being in the same room as him.
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How lonely.
Here he was upset, feeling alone, and Hythlodaeus was being haunted by such a memory. What a terrible friend he was...
"...I do not know what to say. I am horrified." He covers the rock with his other hand, as if to hide it from view from the both of them. "I knew you endured hardship during the Final Days but I did not know you were made to suffer so."
And he aches even more because of it.
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He sighs, turning his head to nuzzle into Hermes more as if to remind himself that he is no longer alone. Of course, if he knew what Hermes was thinking about himself he'd scold him; which is hypocritical of him, given how he reacted to Emet-Selch's story.
"I suppose I was simply there long enough that it imprinted upon my mind. Had I remained in the Underworld, I am quite sure I would never have dreamt of it. Alas, I am alive once more, and living beings must dream."
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"Full glad I am that you are alive." Ah, he's getting choked up again... "Neither you nor Emet-Selch deserved any of what you both endured. If only I could do something to ease your sorrows..."
His own feel inconsequential in comparison.
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It's true- the close contact is doing a good job of reminding him that he's with a trusted friend right now. He isn't alone.
"You are a comfort to me, as I hope I am to you. Pray do not think otherwise."
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"You are, of course." He knows the other man's words are true and that leaves his heart swelling in his chest. "And if I can be of help...then it relieves me to hear so."
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